Supporting survivors

Worried about a friend?

Posted by Jenni James on 4 November 2024

If you’re worried that a friend or family member might be experiencing domestic abuse, it can be hard to know how to help. Here’s three tips to help you know how to respond.

Talk with them

Find a safe space and begin by asking questions that give the person permission to shaer as much or as little as they like. It can often take time for someone to identify their experiencing as ‘domestic abuse’, so they probably won’t use those words straight away. Listen well and use the language that they feel comfortable with. You could ask things like:

“You’ve been quite quiet recently, is everything okay?”

“I was a bit worried about what I saw the other day. Are you alright?”

“Do they always treat you like that? You seemed quite upset.”

Signpost and plan

If a friend does disclose domestic abuse, signpost them to agencies that can help, like the National Domestic Abuse Helpline or another local service. You could also help them make a safety plan in case of an emergency situation – you can download a template for this here.

Listen & respect their choices

It can take time for a person to come to terms with the fact that they’re experiencing domestic abuse. They might not want to take action immediately or even call a helpline – and that’s okay. Just by talking with them in a kind and non-judgemental way, you’ve let them know that you are a safe person who will believe them. If and when they do want to access support, you’ll be there to help them.

Domestic abuse training

One of the best ways to be ready to help a friend is to be informed about domestic abuse. Our training courses are here to equip you!

Find out more